How to Write a Eulogy:
Honouring a Life with Words
A eulogy is a heartfelt tribute that celebrates a loved one's life, memories, and legacy. Whether you're sharing personal stories, cherished moments, or their greatest achievements, writing from the heart is the most meaningful way to honour them. Let us guide you through the process with thoughtful advice and practical steps.
What is a Eulogy?
A eulogy is a speech given at a funeral to pay tribute to the person who has passed. Writing a Eulogy is your moment to honour the memory of your loved one and to spark all those beloved memories that the family have. The Eulogy is usually said by a close family member or friend, or it can be read by the celebrant leading the service.
The tradition of giving a eulogy dates back to ancient Greece and Rome where public eulogies were given for prominent figures and soldiers lost in combat.
Writing a Eulogy can be a daunting task - how do you capture your loved one’s lifetime in a short speech? The Eulogy should reflect the character, personality and achievements of your loved one, along with including special memories, funny stories and moments of their life.
There is no perfect way to write a eulogy, there is no right or wrong, the simplest advice is to write it from the heart and make it personal to you and your loved one. The writing of the eulogy can also be therapeutic and one of the first steps in the healing process.
Where to Begin
Getting started is often the hardest part. Here are some steps to help:
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Gather Your Thoughts – Think about the person’s character, achievements, passions, and special moments you shared.
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Make a List – Jot down words, memories, or anecdotes that remind you of them. Creating a rough timeline of their life can also help bring structure.
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Get Inspiration - You may find inspiration by looking through photos and correspondence such as old letters and school reports.
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Share the burden - Speak to close family and friends, they may be willing to speak and share their memories and have a new story which you may not even know.
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Consider the tone you want to use - If your loved one wasn’t a formal person and had a great sense of humour, don’t make the eulogy too formal, keep it light-hearted and uplifting. If they were more reserved, a reflective and gentle tribute may feel more fitting. Write it in plain English as you would normally speak. This will appear more natural when delivering the eulogy.
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Be mindful of the time - A eulogy is normally 5 - 10 minutes and around 1000 words.
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Start at the beginning - Share highlights of their life, from childhood to final years.
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Make it personal - Reflect on those special memories and stories with your loved one or special times spent together.
What to Include in a Eulogy
There are no strict rules, but the following ideas may help shape your speech:
Introduction
Acknowledge the occasion and introduce yourself.
Share your relationship to the deceased.
Early Life
Where and when they were born.
Details of childhood, school days, hobbies, achievements, and upbringing.
Family
Mention their parents, siblings, spouse, children, and grandchildren.
Education, Career, or Military Service
Talk about their professional life, any significant achievements, and roles.
Hobbies, Passions, Interests, and Travel
What they enjoyed doing in their free time, places they travelled to, and interests that defined them.
Personal Qualities
Highlight their personal traits (kind, funny, adventurous, thoughtful, etc.).
Nicknames
Any special names or affectionate nicknames they were known by.
Special Stories, Habits, Anecdotes, and Sayings
Share some memorable stories, habits, or unique things they were known for.
Favourite Music, Readings, or Poems
If they had any particular songs, poems, or readings that they loved.
Challenges They Overcame and What They Meant to Others
Reflect on any struggles they faced and how they impacted the lives of others.
Closing Thoughts
Offer a closing statement, perhaps expressing gratitude for their life, a comforting quote, or a final goodbye.
Additional Ideas:
Legacy or Impact: You can briefly talk about how they left their mark on others, their community, or their field of work.
Personal Reflections: If it fits the tone, you can add a few personal reflections about how you were influenced by them.
Tips for Delivering the Eulogy
Read It Aloud
We would advise whoever is going to deliver the eulogy to read it aloud a few times before the day itself.
You will then be aware which part of the eulogy will make you feel the most emotional, and this will allow you to be more prepared mentally on the day as you reach this point.
Take Your Time
If you do get emotional on the day, it's ok! Stop, breathe, take a moment to gather yourself and continue. Your friends and family in the audience are there to support you and will be feeling the same.
Have a Backup Plan
If it is all too much for you, your celebrant will be happy to step in and take over or they will read the Eulogy on your behalf. When they are introducing the Eulogy, you can just give them the nod or shake of the head at the appropriate point, and they will take the lead from you.
Emotional Support
You may also find it comforting to have a family member stand with you at the lectern for support, they can squeeze your hand at the emotional points to help you through.
Timing of the Eulogy and Slideshow
We would also recommend that the Eulogy is said prior to the slideshow of photos, as this can be very emotional for the family to watch.
Final Thoughts
A eulogy is not just a speech; it’s a heartfelt tribute that helps keep a loved one’s memory alive. It serves as a way to honour their legacy, reflect on their life, and offer comfort to those who are grieving. While the process of writing and delivering a eulogy can feel daunting, remember that it’s not about perfection. The most important thing is that the words come from the heart and reflect the unique person you are remembering.
There is no "right" or "wrong" way to write a eulogy. Each one is as individual as the person it celebrates. Some may choose to focus on the milestones of a life well-lived, while others may share funny or tender anecdotes that truly capture the spirit of their loved one. The eulogy doesn’t need to cover every aspect of a person’s life, but it should encapsulate their essence—their personality, their passions, and the impact they had on others.
While the task may seem overwhelming, trust yourself. You are the one who knew your loved one best. Whether you write it in the form of a heartfelt tribute, an emotional reflection, or a light-hearted celebration, speak from the heart. It will be the most genuine way to honour them.
Remember, the eulogy is a part of the healing process, not just for those who listen but also for you as the one delivering it. Take your time with it. Allow yourself the space to feel, reflect, and honour their memory in the way that feels most meaningful. By doing so, you create a moment of connection not just with your loved one’s past, but with everyone who shares this loss.
Above all, know that your words will resonate deeply with those in the room, and though it may be difficult, the act of sharing their story will offer comfort, warmth, and a sense of closure. In this way, a eulogy is a lasting gift—an enduring testament to the life, love, and memory of the one who has passed.