The Day of the Funeral:
What to Expect
Attending a funeral can feel daunting, especially if you’re unsure what to expect.
This guide provides a detailed overview of what happens at a funeral service in the UK, including the procession, ceremony, burial or cremation, and reception. This information may also be helpful for those feeling anxious about attending a funeral or wondering whether to bring children.
What happens at a funeral service in the UK?
A funeral is a deeply personal occasion that honours the life of the deceased according to their wishes, religious beliefs, or family preferences.
Following the service, the person will be cremated or buried in accordance with their chosen arrangements.
While some individuals plan their funeral in advance, including music, readings, or reception details, many decisions are made by the family in consultation with a funeral director.
What happens on the day of a funeral service?
A funeral is a unique tribute to the life of an individual, so each one will be different, but they generally consist of four stages:
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1. the funeral procession
2. the funeral ceremony
3. the cremation or burial
4. the reception (wake)
Your funeral director will ensure that everything is taken care of in advance, so that on the day itself you can focus on mourning the death of your loved one with the support of family and friends.
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The advice in this guide describes what happens at a Church of England funeral or secular funeral service. Information and guidance on funerals for other religions is available on request.
The funeral procession
Before the funeral, your loved one will be carefully prepared and placed in their coffin. They may rest in a chapel of rest, at home, or another preferred location. You are welcome to visit them before the service.
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On the day of the funeral, the hearse will transport your loved one to the crematorium or church. It may be followed by a procession of mourners’ cars, traditionally led by close family members. Alternatively, mourners may meet directly at the venue.
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Floral tributes from close family will be arranged on the coffin, with additional flowers displayed at the service.
Limousines: A dignified and comfortable journey
We provide chauffeured limousines to provide comfort and support for close family and loved ones leading the procession. Each limousine seats up to six passengers when accompanied by the Funeral Director or seven without. Please note that child booster seats are not provided. Face masks are only required in limousines during any declared pandemic.
Your limousine will arrive at your chosen location—whether it’s the family home, where loved ones may gather, or the residence of the person who has passed. You can choose for the limousine to arrive alongside the hearse or separately, based on your wishes. We ensure there is enough time for you to prepare before departing.
Following the service, the limousine will take you to the wake or return you home. Please note that the limousine will not remain at the wake to provide return transport, so alternative arrangements will be needed for your journey home.
We are here to support you in any way we can, ensuring that your journey is as seamless and comforting as possible during this difficult time.
Paging the Hearse: A final journey led with dignity, honour, and respect
Paging is a time-honoured tradition in which the funeral director, often wearing a top hat and carrying a cane, walks ahead of the hearse to lead the procession.
Why is this done?
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A Symbol of Respect – Paging is a heartfelt tribute, marking the solemnity of the occasion and symbolizing a dignified final journey.
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Guidance and Direction – It ensures that mourners follow the right path, leading with care and reverence.
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A Tradition of Honour – Historically, this practice dates back to the days of horse-drawn hearses, where it helped set a steady pace and clear the way for the cortege.
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When Does Paging Take Place?
Paging typically occurs at the beginning of the procession, as the hearse departs from the family home or place of service. It may also take place when passing a location of personal significance or upon arrival at the crematorium or cemetery.
A Thoughtful Tribute
This simple yet deeply meaningful gesture reflects a family’s love and respect as they accompany their loved one on their final journey. Your funeral director will lead the procession on foot for a short distance, ensuring that this moment is carried out with the dignity and grace it deserves.
Arriving in Good Time: A Moment to Gather, Reflect, and Prepare
To ensure a smooth and unhurried start, mourners who are not part of the funeral procession should aim to arrive at the venue at least 15–20 minutes before the service begins.
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The funeral procession will arrive 10–15 minutes before the service, allowing time for you to greet those attending. This also gives our funeral director the opportunity to:
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Distribute service sheets
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Arrange any permitted floral tributes inside the chapel
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Check the music and any visual tribute
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Meet with the officiant to confirm final details
When the time comes to enter, our funeral director will guide you to your seat—typically at the front, closest to the officiant and your loved one—ensuring a dignified and supportive start to the service.
Honouring a Life: The Structure of a Thoughtful Funeral Ceremony
A typical funeral service with Rounce Funeral Services follows this structure, though every ceremony can be tailored to reflect the wishes of the family and the life of the person being remembered:
Assembly Music – Gentle background music plays as mourners arrive and take their seats, setting a reflective tone for the service.
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Entrance Music – A chosen piece of music accompanies the arrival of the coffin, marking the beginning of the ceremony.
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Welcome and Introduction by the Officiant – The officiant (minister, celebrant, or family member) greets those gathered and introduces the service, offering words of comfort and remembrance.
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Readings and Eulogies – Family members, friends, or the officiant share readings, poems, or personal tributes that honour the life of the deceased.
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Hymns / Musical / Slideshow Tributes – Hymns may be sung, recorded songs played, or a slideshow of cherished photos set to music can be displayed as a visual tribute.
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Committal and Final Words – The moment of committal, where the officiant leads the final farewell, may include prayers, reflections, or a moment of silence.
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Closing Music – A final piece of music plays as the service concludes, offering a moment for quiet reflection before attendees exit.
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Additional Personalisation
Each funeral is unique, and Rounce Funeral Services can help incorporate:
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A memory table with photographs or personal items.
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Special gestures such as lighting candles or placing flowers.
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Live musical performances, if desired.
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Themed elements that reflect the individual’s passions or personality.
Let us know how we can tailor the ceremony to create a fitting tribute to your loved one.
A crematorium funeral: A personal farewell, honoured your way
Crematoriums provide a flexible setting for religious, secular, and non-traditional funeral services. Standard services typically last 30–45 minutes, but additional time can be arranged upon request to ensure a more personalised and meaningful farewell.
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Why Choose an Extended Service?
A longer service allows for:
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Additional music selections to reflect personal tastes and memories.
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Multiple slideshows showcasing cherished moments.
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Extended eulogies or multiple speakers to share heartfelt tributes.
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Time for personal moments, such as placing flowers or saying private goodbyes.
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A more unhurried farewell, ensuring no one feels rushed during this important time.
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If you would like to arrange extra time, please let us know as soon as possible so we can make the necessary arrangements.
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Live-Streaming for Those Unable to Attend
For those unable to be there in person, some crematoriums offer live-streaming services. If this is something you’d like to explore, please contact us, and we’ll be happy to assist.
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Crematorium Facilities & Accessibility
Most crematorium chapels are equipped with audio-visual facilities for music and slideshow tributes. They also have accessibility features to accommodate guests with mobility challenges, ensuring everyone can participate comfortably.
Burial Services: A Lasting Tribute and Final Goodbye
A burial service is a deeply personal moment, offering family and friends the opportunity to say a final farewell in a peaceful setting. Whether held in a churchyard, cemetery, or woodland burial site, the ceremony can be religious or non-religious, tailored to honour the wishes of the deceased and their loved ones.
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The Burial Process
Procession to the Cemetery
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The hearse and cortege travel to the burial site.
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Family members may greet mourners as they leave the funeral ceremony.
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Committal Service at the Graveside
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Pallbearers carry the coffin to the grave, placing it on wooden supports (putlogs or putlocks).
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The officiant may lead prayers, readings, or reflections before the coffin is lowered.
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Family and friends may scatter soil or flowers as a final gesture of love and remembrance.
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Paying Respects
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Loved ones can spend time at the graveside, placing floral tributes or sharing quiet moments of reflection.
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Mourners may have an opportunity to gather and speak with guests before departing.
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After the Burial
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Most burial grounds remain accessible for visits, though some may have restricted hours.
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Floral tributes will be arranged on the grave, with the cemetery team ensuring a respectful and dignified setting.
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The grave will naturally settle over time, and cemetery staff will manage any necessary ground adjustments.
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At Rounce Funeral Services, we are here to support you through every step, ensuring that the burial service is conducted with the utmost care and respect.
Let us know how we can help you create a meaningful and lasting tribute for your loved one.
Funeral Wakes: A Time to Gather and Remember
A funeral wake, also known as a reception, offers family and friends a chance to come together, share memories, and support one another in a less formal setting after the funeral service. Whether held at home, a hired venue, or a local gathering place, a wake provides an opportunity to celebrate the life of a loved one in a way that feels right for you.
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What is a Funeral Wake?
Traditionally, a wake referred to the vigil held before a funeral. Today, it is more commonly a post-funeral gathering where guests can remember the deceased and offer condolences to the family. The tone of a wake can vary depending on the wishes of the deceased and their loved ones – it may be a quiet reflection or a more celebratory event.
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What Happens at a Funeral Wake?
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Sharing Memories – Guests may share stories, look at photographs, or watch slideshows of the deceased’s life.
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Refreshments – Food and drink are usually provided, ranging from tea and sandwiches to a catered meal.
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Remembrance Activities – Some families choose to include a small ceremony, music, or other tributes.
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Flexible Format – Wakes can be religious or non-religious, formal or casual, depending on personal preferences.
Organising a Funeral Wake
Choosing a Venue
Wakes are typically held in:
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Private homes
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Pubs or restaurants
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Community halls or social clubs
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Hotels or function rooms
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Outdoor spaces (weather permitting)
Inviting Guests
A wake can be a public or private event. If open to all, details can be included in the funeral announcement or order of service. For a private gathering, invitations may be extended personally or via phone and email.
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Food and Drink
The catering for a wake depends on preference and budget. Options include:
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Catered Buffet – Many venues offer funeral catering packages.
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Home-prepared food – A more personal touch, with contributions from family and friends.
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Bar Service – Some venues provide a drinks reception or bar facilities.
Costs and Planning Support
The cost of a wake depends on the venue, catering, and additional services. At Rounce Funeral Services, we can assist with planning and recommend local venues and caterers suited to your needs.
Funeral Wake FAQs
How long does a wake last?
Most wakes last a couple of hours, but guests may come and go as they wish.
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What should I wear to a wake?
Since a wake follows the funeral, attendees usually remain in the same attire – traditionally dark, formal clothing unless otherwise requested by the family.
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Should I attend both the funeral and wake?
While attending both is respectful, it is not compulsory. If you are unable to attend one or the other, simply letting the family know is a kind gesture.
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What should I bring to a wake?
No specific items are required, but some guests bring condolence cards, flowers, or donations to a chosen charity.
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Can a wake be held on a different day from the funeral?
Yes, some families prefer to hold a memorial gathering on a later date, such as an anniversary or special occasion.
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Are there alternatives to a traditional wake?
Some families opt for alternative gatherings such as a memorial walk, tree-planting ceremony, or charity event in honour of their loved one.
